“Look,” I said, “if you absolutely must move the frame for this year’s Christmas lights to the other side of the stadium, please don’t walk through the middle of the bullring, especially if there’s a bullfight going on. Just walk it around the outside of the stadium.” The dumbsierras got what they deserved, if you ask me.
It’s not as big a stage as the Super Bowl a la Leon Lett -- or, who knows, maybe it is … you can never tell with bizarre sports in not-America -- but it’s just as sweet to watch. I always love it when someone celebrates victory too early only to lose because s/he was too busy celebrating the victory that ultimately wasn’t to be.
Speaking of Lett, you can never get enough of Don Beebe taking advantage of his early celebration, so here it is:
Sometimes we here at the SLPL blog get so caught up in other things -- travel, interesting GIFs, tips of the ballcap, useless websites, and such -- that we forget that we’ve got one hell of a fantasy baseball season happening right under our noses. Oh, hey, lookie here! Four teams have apparently been battling it out for the top spot already this season and we haven’t even reached June. Who knew? The best part, though, is knowing that the eventual winner of this season’s Overall championship is likely not even going to be one of those four teams. Instead, it’s likely going to be some dark horse currently sitting in the middle of the pack with a funky team name and an owner who claims that the Dodgers still belong in the major leagues. That’s how this league rolls.
Which makes the news today all the more interesting. League leader Paul Martin, owner of the Cabbage Farmers, just made two trades, apparently in the hopes of putting his foot on the accelerator while his rivals scratch their heads about what to do. Do they counter move, hoping to trap the ol’ bishop with queen-rook combo? Do they do nothing in the hopes that it makes Paul look desperate? What. To. Do? It’ll will be fun to watch.
Meanwhile, a player on more than a handful of teams finally went on the DL. Matt Kemp, who appears on 12 rosters, is out for a coupla weeks, which hopefully prompts at least a few trades.
Anyway, sorry we’ve not been more aware that the fantasy season is happening right in front of our eyes. We’ll try to be more diligent. Oh, hey, look! A cool GIF!
The first time I saw this, I thought I was hallucinating:
Trouble is, I was. Some joker at Dominos added magic mushrooms to my pizza. Second time I saw this, I was still tripping. The three-thousandth time I saw this -- and yes, I counted … did you know that every number between 1 and 3,000 has a different color and smell? -- I was finally engaging with reality; and in reality this is just as cool as it is when my mind is trying to locate Alice to ask her a few questions.
Tip of the ballcap to Carrboro T-Birds owner Brian Thornburg (via Facebook) for sharing this. It will be imprinted on my brain for years to come.
There are at least two dozen people I would love to slap with an eel. And that’s just in this league alone. But given all those pesky laws and statutes and social norms forbidding such an action, this website will have to do. Just scroll your mouse from right to left across the picture to slap this dopey-looking hipster dudebro, let’s call him Biff, with an eel. When done with Biff -- about five good slaps will do it, I think -- conjure up a picture of each person you would like to slap with an eel, overlay Biff’s face with theirs, and repeat. It’s oddly soothing while simultaneously avoiding all those pesky laws and statutes and social norms.
Because we haven’t yet had any animals acting like complete Deltas this season, let’s just get this one out of the way right now so that we can offend every delicate sensibility we can early in the year. This is possibly the worst affront to Santa Lechuga since farmworkers left that lettuce field un-ploughed to protest the increase in tequila prices at Endive Stadium back in ’78. I will need to go to confession later today just for posting this.