Santa Lechuga Power League:

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe! (Yes. Universe.)

May 2013

Keeping The Foot On The Accelerator

Sometimes we here at the SLPL blog get so caught up in other things -- travel, interesting GIFs, tips of the ballcap, useless websites, and such -- that we forget that we’ve got one hell of a fantasy baseball season happening right under our noses. Oh, hey, lookie here! Four teams have apparently been battling it out for the top spot already this season and we haven’t even reached June. Who knew? The best part, though, is knowing that the eventual winner of this season’s Overall championship is likely not even going to be one of those four teams. Instead, it’s likely going to be some dark horse currently sitting in the middle of the pack with a funky team name and an owner who claims that the Dodgers still belong in the major leagues. That’s how this league rolls.

Which makes the news today all the more interesting. League leader
Paul Martin, owner of the Cabbage Farmers, just made two trades, apparently in the hopes of putting his foot on the accelerator while his rivals scratch their heads about what to do. Do they counter move, hoping to trap the ol’ bishop with queen-rook combo? Do they do nothing in the hopes that it makes Paul look desperate? What. To. Do? It’ll will be fun to watch.

Meanwhile, a player on more than a handful of teams finally went on the DL. Matt Kemp, who appears on 12 rosters,
is out for a coupla weeks, which hopefully prompts at least a few trades.

Anyway, sorry we’ve not been more aware that the fantasy season is happening right in front of our eyes. We’ll try to be more diligent. Oh, hey, look! A cool GIF!

abd-353
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The Most Useless Website On The Internet, Part 5

Is my computer on?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Uh Oh... "Cubs Erect Mock-Ups of Proposed Wrigley Signs, Video Board"

Tip of the ballcap to Carrboro T-Birds owner Brian Thornburg (via Facebook) for the link to this article, which Brian introduced with an understandable “Uh oh...”

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Post-Game-Interview Bombing

Tip of the ballcap to league follower and sometimes-SLPL-blog-contributor Missy for this link to Castle Inanity’s website, which is sort of difficult to describe but which we support fully. You’ve heard of photo-bombing, right? It’s the fine art of ruining other people’s photos. Well, the Cincinnati Bearcats have taken it to another level, post-game-interview bombing. Here’s an example:

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Cincinnati Bearcat On A Spit


Here’s an article about the pranks. And here’s a video compilation:



Thanks, Missy, for the link!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day with full appreciation to all who served … and a tip of the ballcap to Babes Love Baseball for this cool image:

torn-baseball-american-flag
Photo courtesy of Babes Love Baseball


Tomorrow, another tip of the ballcap, this time tipping towards league follower and sometimes-contributor Missy for a most-awesome link.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Sunday Morning WTF?!: Hawk Harrelson Rant

Someone needs to put Hawk Harrelson out of my misery.



Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Chicago White Sox?! How is this sad excuse of an announcer still on your payroll? W?! T?! F?!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The Bleak Blogging Days

Not only did I forget to blog anything yesterday -- though I did update the standings and stats -- today I’m just blogging about forgetting to blog anything yesterday. These are the bleak blogging days.

Hey, wasn’t someone going to send me pictures about a certain owner’s graduation?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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View From My Window: Portland, Maine

View from my window.

Portland, Maine
Portland, ME
(Click to biggercize.)
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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I Got Nothin'

Portland, ME. I got nothin’.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Out Here In The Perimeter, There Are No Stars

So long, Ray Manzarek.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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John Merritt, Wood Carver, Awesome Hobbyist

The longer you watch, the more mesmerizing this becomes:



Fifty-four years of wood carvings … and he doesn’t sell anything. He just does it for the fun of it. Just wow.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Sunday Morning WTF?!: Shut Up and Get In My Bed!

Aussie Livernois family infiltrator Tom Hepner, who is married to the daughter of Applegate’s Picks owner Susie Rochellle, posted this to his Facebook page last night with the corresponding comment, “Love the local paper.”

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“Love the Local Paper”

We figure the local paper in question here is The Plumas County News, so with that, Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Plumas County News?! Did you get the whole story? Did the deputy interview the dog to get her side of the story? How do we know that everything is under control? For all we know, the man …

Okay, not going to go there. Step away from the computer. That’s some sick Sierra going through your mind, Pedregoso. Just post and walk away from the keyboard.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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We May Or May Not Be Going Dark, Part 3

Come Monday, we may or may not be going dark again, depending on whether or not I want to take time from my water-front hotel view in Portland, Maine, to do something as trivial as updating this damn website. If I am unable to peel my eyes away from the North Atlantic Ocean next week, the SLPL will be dark from Monday until later Friday morning.

In the meantime … there’s no reason to post this except that I’m a huge fan of
The National, they have a new album coming out, and this video is fun.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Veeck’s Son Dusts Off Old Idea and Crowdsources the Umpiring

Tip of the ballcap to MFs In D.C. owner Marcus Rochellle for sharing this story (via Facebook).

BTW, we always welcome owners to share good baseball stories with us.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The Most Useless Website On The Internet, Part 4

I am awesome.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Kevin's Korner: GIF Really Brings Story Of Drunk Ump Together Nicely

Obviously baseball related, but the choice of GIF really brings the report of the story together nicely!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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I Got Nothin'

Sitting in a nameless hotel room in Greensboro. I got nothin’. ‘Cause if I had somethin’, it would be worse than nothin’.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Hittin' The Air

I’m hitting the air for Greensboro, NC. Not much more to say about that.

But while I’m in the air, enjoy this bit of bitcheness:


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Sunday Morning WTH?! Happy Mother's Day!

As we have in seasons past, we have decided to be respectful to all the mothers in this league for at least one day of the season by renaming our regular Sunday series “Sunday Morning WTF?!” in honor of Mother’s Day to “Sunday Morning WTH?!?!” As in, “What the heck?!” or, “Whiskey Tango Hotel?” Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers!

We have also decided to revive a league favorite, which Scoots Bigelow owner
Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen shared with us way back in ’11. Scott said that it is a tradition in his country of origin to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. We didn’t believe him until we dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)



Whiskey?! Tango?! Hotel?!, strange street dancing kids? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! H?!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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We May Or May Not Be Going Dark, Part 2

Come Monday, we may or may not be going dark again, depending on whether or not Greensboro, NC, has received the benefit of high speed Internet yet. We know the Carolinas have had problems working their way into the 19th century politically -- see also: Mark Sanford winning his recent election -- but we don’t know if they lag that far behind technologically. If Greensboro, NC, is still trying to grapple with the advent of the telegraph, the SLPL will be dark from Monday until Friday next week.

In the meantime … I can't walk to the next room carrying a half-filled coffee mug without spilling the rest of the coffee. And then there's this lady.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Joe Kelly's Bro

Here’s a great article about Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly’s brother, David Kelly. From Joe, via Facebook:

David Kelly
(Click to biggercize.)
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The Most Useless Website On The Internet, Part 3

How long can you stay on the raft with the chicken?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Not Dark, But Not Much to Say

But I do have this view:

Manhattan
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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That Should Minimize the Raw, Heart-Wrenching, Bone-Crunching Pain

Trying to deflect the enormous amount of smack coming his way after the Giants swept the Dodgers this weekend, Golden Sombrero’s owner Brandon Olivarria created this auto responder, which he employed liberally Sunday night: “To whom it may concern: I will not be responding to any texts about the sweep the Giants put on the Dodgers. I appreciate your not-so-gentle words. Have a good Cinco de Mayo! Gracias. ~Brandon (still a Dodger fan).”

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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We May Or May Not Be Going Dark

I’m headed to New York City first thing tomorrow morning to see if I can’t secure a trademark on the mean Arugula-On-A-Stick we’ve been serving up at Endive Stadium to rave reviews. This means we may or may not be going dark, depending on the price Motel 6 charges for WiFi and on my ability to get my desktop files to work on my rickety ol’ Tandy 9000 laptop before I leave. Watch this space for more news.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Sunday Morning WTF?!: Lethal League (NSFW)

“This is, uh, Lethal Ball Jousting. It’s fun.”



Is this really something some people do, record themselves while playing video games and then posting the results to YouTube? And is this something that other people do -- like I unfortunately just did -- watch the videos of people who recorded themselves playing video games and posted to YouTube. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, some people and other people. So much world, so much wondrous technology, so many wonderful people, so little life. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Stay Cool

Stay Cool
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The Most Useless Website On The Internet, Part 2

Has the Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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Shaping Up Despite No Good Trips to the DL

payloom-3-thumbnail_1

As you now know, the $10 trade is now in effect. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we had some pretty heavy $5 trading during our first month, even without a significant player taking a trip to the DL, bringing The Pot up to a cool $1,610. Though we were six $5 trades shy of last year’s total, 82 trades is nothing to sneeze at, especially considering that a Justin Upton or a Miguel Cabrera or a Justin Verlander didn’t go on the disabled list. Here’s hoping that some of our ubiquitous players get a major injury so that our $10 trading is just as heavy.

Oh, and remember: You can make trades
using our handy-dandy form. And, more importantly, you can pay for trades using our other handy-dandy form.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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$5 Trades Are Dead; $10 Trades Now In Effect

payloom-3-thumbnail_1

It was fun while it lasted. Now the $10 trade is in effect. You can make trades for $10 until the end of the All-Star Break.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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The $5 Trade Is Nearly Kaput

00245-trade

In roughly two hours, the $5 Trade for the 2013 season will be kaput; $10 Trades will then be in effect. Take a few minutes to submit your trades before today's first pitch (at 12:40 Eastern time) to get the most trade value for the buck.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Power-Hitting Pitching . HOF . Yesterday
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