Santa Lechuga Power League:

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe! (Yes. Universe.)

Mar 2013

The '13 Santa Lechuga Power League Begins Tomorrow!

Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble!

The 2013 Santa Lechuga Power League (SLPL) begins tomorrow! Rosters are due by the first pitch thrown on the big Opening Day, tomorrow,Monday, April 1st. Use this form to submit your roster. If you decide to go all e-maily on us, make sure your roster includes:

  • Ten hitters, to hit the bombs.
  • Five pitchers, to throw the whiffs.
  • Five death-worthy Hall-of-Famers (Doug Harvey excluded) to pass away during the season.
  • One Magic Number (1 through 31), to break ties.
  • One current Cardinal pitcher, to die unexpectedly so the team can creepily parade his jersey around the dugout for the rest of the season and so Fox announcers can prattle endlessly about it like they just saw a bus hit a pedestrian five feet in front of them.
You already know how the scoring and payouts work. (If you need a reminder, go here and here.) Nothing's changed from last season 'cause, frankly, this league runs like a top. You know, before the top starts getting all wobbly and stuff.

Here are a several other things our veteran owners should remember...

We Dole Out the Cash
Last season alone, we spread the winning of $2,900 across 13 champs.

We Reward Handsomely When You Recruit New Owners
The first new owner you recruit will let you take $5 off your ownership fees. The second new owner you recruit will net you a free $5 trade. The third new owner will get you a free $10 trade. The fourth new owner will get you a free $15 trade. And the fifth new owner will get you a free $20 trade. Bottom line: If you recruit five new owners, the SLPL will give $5 off your ownership fees and $50 worth of free trades. So, recruit some new owners ... and tell them to cite you as their recruiter. (See here.)

We Have Ten Great Reasons to Join
The list of reasons to join the SLPL is endless, so we conveniently boiled it down to ten great reasons. (See here.)

We Award Free Trades When You Make Paid Trades
Like last season, you can earn free trades by making paid trades. Here's how it works:

For the first five (5) paid trades you make, you will get one (1) free trade. For the second five (5) paid trades you make, you will get two (2) more free trades. So, for the cost of ten (10) trades, you will get a total of 13.

(See here.)

We Have a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool
Here's how it works:

You pick five -- count 'em, five! -- Major League Baseball Hall-of-Fame inductees who have already been formally inducted at the beginning of the 2012 season. (This means that those who were selected to be inducted in the July 2012 induction ceremony are not eligible for the 2012 SLPL season.) If HOFers on your roster die, you pick up points. The team with the most points at the end of the World Series wins the pot.

To fill out your roster, you can pick one player multiple times. So, if you really wanted Joe Morgan to die, you could put him on your HOF roster as many as five times, which means you will earn five times the points should he die in a fortunate boating accident.

The Death Pool will run from Opening Day 2013 to the first pitch of Opening Day 2014. Monies will be awarded once the champ is awarded.

(See
here.)

We Have a Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool ... and the Pool is Up to $1,000
Pedregoso Rios
and owner Sue Klinkhamer are personally ponying up $100 dollars apiece every season to be awarded to the SLPL owner who identifies the next Creepy Cardinals pitcher to die during the regular season or playoffs (for as long as the Cardinals are playing). Since this is season number six for Pedregoso & Sue's Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, the pool currently sits at $1,200. (See here.) UPDATE AS OF 4/1/13: We just learned that Sue Klinkhamer is no longer in the league; as a result, she is no longer sponsoring the Creepy Cardinals Death Watch Pool. This means that amount that can be won has been cut in half from what it had been in previous years.

We Need Your Roster and New Recruits by the First Pitch Thrown Tomorrow (April 1)
Getchyer rosters in by 1:05 pm Eastern time tomorrow, Monday, April 1. Getchyer new recruits recruited! And getchyer horseshoe out of the attic to bring you good luck during the season!

Pedregoso

P.S. More than half our 48 spots are already taken. Don't be left out.

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Rosters Are Due Monday by 1:05 pm Eastern

Just a reminder that rosters are due this Monday by 1:05 pm Eastern time. Getchyer roster in quick-like!
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Join the SLPL In Five Easy Steps

The Santa Lechuga Power League is a campy little fantasy baseball league. It’s no slick-CBS-Sportsline-type league where nobody knows anybody and everybody just wants to end up in the 51st-percentile or above. Instead, the SLPL is made up of family and friends and extended family and friends of brothers Joe and Tony Livernois, who run the thing for their own amusement and for the amusement of said family and friends. And because Jay (as his family knows him) and Tony are simple-minded goofs, they run a simple little league with big-time payouts. Points are earned using home runs and strikeouts. That's it. Oh, and as side bets, we track the heartbeats of Hall-of-Famers and Creepy Cardinals pitchers in our exclusive Death Pools. It’s that easy.

If you’re thinking about joining, here are five basic steps you need to complete to become a new owner:

Plan on joining us in 2013, wontchya? And if you’re looking for a little light reading once the season gets started, why not catch up on the
History of the SLPL or read up on the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce?
We hope to see you!
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Ten Reasons to Join the Santa Lechuga Power League

While there are literally thousands of reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League -- last year alone, the number of reasons equaled $2,900 -- we have listed our favorite ten reasons here.

Several teams have already joined the league for 2013, but you have until Monday at 1:05 pm Eastern time to submit one if you haven't already done so. There are only 48 spots available, so grab your spot quick-like by using
this form.

Oh, and be sure to recruit some new owners. It's always fun to have a lot of fresh blood in the waters, er, in the league.

Good luck picking your roster. May the odds be forever in your favor.
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SLPL Video: In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...

The video announcing last year’s season is still fresh, especially if you haven’t seen it yet, that we have decided we don’t need to update it. So there. Besides, we don’t have that kind of time.

Remember, the Santa Lechuga Power League fills the world's gaping vacuum known as decent fantasy baseball. Now, these knuckleheads just need to sober up ...



UPDATE AS OF 4/1/13: We just learned that Sue “Buzzkill” Klinkhamer and Dan “My Wittle Fee Fees Are Hurt ‘Cause I Only Won $150 In 2012” Klinkhamer are no longer in the league. This video, then, is *really* out of date.

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The '13 Santa Lechuga Power League Begins In A Week!

The 2013 Santa Lechuga Power League (SLPL) begins in 12 days! Rosters are due by the first pitch thrown on the big Opening Day, Monday, April 1st. Use this form to submit your roster. If you decide to go all e-maily on us, make sure your roster includes:
  • Ten hitters, to hit the bombs.
  • Five pitchers, to throw the whiffs.
  • Five death-worthy Hall-of-Famers (Doug Harvey excluded) to pass away during the season.
  • One Magic Number (1 through 31), to break ties.
  • One current Cardinal pitcher, to die unexpectedly so the team can creepily parade his jersey around the dugout for the rest of the season and so Fox announcers can prattle endlessly about it like they just saw a bus hit a pedestrian five feet in front of them.
You already know how the scoring and payouts work. (If you need a reminder, go here and here.) Nothing's changed from last season 'cause, frankly, this league runs like a top. You know, before the top starts getting all wobbly and stuff.

Here are a several other things our veteran owners should remember...

We Dole Out the Cash
Last season alone, we spread the winning of $2,900 across 13 champs.

We Reward Handsomely When You Recruit New Owners
The first new owner you recruit will let you take $5 off your ownership fees. The second new owner you recruit will net you a free $5 trade. The third new owner will get you a free $10 trade. The fourth new owner will get you a free $15 trade. And the fifth new owner will get you a free $20 trade. Bottom line: If you recruit five new owners, the SLPL will give $5 off your ownership fees and $50 worth of free trades. So, recruit some new owners ... and tell them to cite you as their recruiter. (See here.)

We Have Ten Great Reasons to Join
The list of reasons to join the SLPL is endless, so we conveniently boiled it down to ten great reasons. (See here.)

We Award Free Trades When You Make Paid Trades
Like last season, you can earn free trades by making paid trades. Here's how it works:

For the first five (5) paid trades you make, you will get one (1) free trade. For the second five (5) paid trades you make, you will get two (2) more free trades. So, for the cost of ten (10) trades, you will get a total of 13.

(See here.)

We Have a Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool ... and the Pool is Up to $1,000
Pedregoso Rios
is personally ponying up $100 dollars every season to be awarded to the SLPL owner who identifies the next Creepy Cardinals pitcher to die during the regular season or playoffs (for as long as the Cardinals are playing). Since this is season number six for Pedregoso’s Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, the pool currently sits at $600. (See here.) UPDATE AS OF 4/1/13: We just learned that Sue Klinkhamer is no longer in the league; as a result, she is no longer sponsoring the Creepy Cardinals Death Watch Pool. This means that amount that can be won has been cut in half from what it had been in previous years.

We Have a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool
Here's how it works:

You pick five -- count 'em, five! -- Major League Baseball Hall-of-Fame inductees who have already been formally inducted at the beginning of the 2012 season. (This means that those who were selected to be inducted in the July 2012 induction ceremony are not eligible for the 2012 SLPL season.) If HOFers on your roster die, you pick up points. The team with the most points at the end of the World Series wins the pot.

To fill out your roster, you can pick one player multiple times. So, if you really wanted Joe Morgan to die, you could put him on your HOF roster as many as five times, which means you will earn five times the points should he die in a fortunate boating accident.

The Death Pool will run from Opening Day 2013 to the first pitch of Opening Day 2014. Monies will be awarded once the champ is awarded.

(See
here.)

We Need Your Roster and New Recruits by the First Pitch Thrown On Monday, April 1
Getchyer rosters in. Getchyer new recruits recruited! And getchyer horseshoe out of the attic to bring you good luck during the season!

Pedregoso

P.S. So far, we have received rosters from
Brian Thornburg and Joe Kelly. If you submitted a roster and are not listed here, please re-submit it and accept our apologies for a wonky website.
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Submit Rosters Now

Even though we don’t have the ’13 Season website all created and ready to go -- we are still suffering the effects of our perpetual off-season bender -- you can submit your roster for the ’13 season by using this handy-dandy form. Do it between now and the first pitch on the full Opening Day, which will be Monday, April 1.
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